Life Among the Aspens with the Hartleys

Imagine being a new mom with a six month old baby and hearing the doctor say you have breast cancer. That’s my mom’s story and it’s part of my story. My mom and her three sisters all had breast cancer. It took the lives of my Aunt Betty and Aunt Tressa in the 1970s. My mom and my Aunt Rowena fought and won. So you can understand why my mind always carried the thought “not if, but when.” I was diagnosed with breast cancer on September 23, 2022 following my annual mammogram. And even with my mindset, they were still hard words to hear.

The doctor immediately gave me the reassurance I needed by saying (1) it has been detected early, (2) it is small, (3) it is 100% treatable, and (4) it is 100% curable. I was quickly filled with hope and peace. Mammograms aren’t my idea of fun because they’re uncomfortable but they save lives. I’ve never missed getting one annually since my mid 30s. Early detection made this journey easier and less scary. I also believe God is giving me this opportunity to be a light to others. I know of at least seven friends who didn’t get mammograms during Covid and were inspired to make that appointment and get those boobs squished.

This crazy journey got even crazier between diagnosis and surgery. More mammograms, ultrasounds, biopsies and MRIs. My incredible medical team wanted to make certain there weren’t any other areas where cancer might be present. I actually started keeping count of how many different people touched my breasts. It is now well over 30. If you are a modest person, breast cancer will remove all that modesty.

There was one moment when I thought I should be back in Oklahoma having all of this done. It was at night, I couldn’t sleep and I was allowing negative thoughts and fear to creep in. I knew that wasn’t going to help, so I prayed for clarity. The next morning my answer came with the reassurance that I had great care here and I was exactly where I needed to be. Long distance love and support from family and friends was overwhelming. I had surgery here in Santa Fe November 10. Fortunately I only needed a lumpectomy and lymph node biopsies. My sweet daughter and husband were wonderful caregivers during my recovery. Surgery pain was minimal but I was not prepared for the discomfort that lingered from the biopsies. Apparently sticking needles in your muscles and removing little parts of them makes them angry.

More great news in this journey came with my Oncotype score. I am in awe of the advancements in medicine. They can tell if you’re likely to have cancer somewhere else in your body or a reoccurence. Thankfully my score was low and I would not need chemo. Radiation was the path determined by my medical team including my surgeon, medical oncologist and radiation oncologist. Nineteen total treatments here in Santa Fe. It takes longer to drive to the cancer center than the duration of the treatment. I started December 19 and will finish January 16. Yes, I was sad that Christmas with family wouldn’t happen but a tiny imposition. Sarah is due February 7 and I wanted to make sure I was finished and had a few weeks to recover before our grandson makes his grand entrance.

I’ve been supported by so many with prayers, cards, calls, texts, gifts, encouragement and love. This diagnosis gave me the opportunity to connect with friends and family who have traveled a cancer journey of their own. Thank you over and over for making this easier. I hope to do the same for others.

A final note: Our granddaughter had her kidney cancer follow-up appointment at St. Jude earlier this week and is doing great. My brother will travel back to MD Anderson in early February for an appointment in his journey with liver cancer. I’m praying for clear test results and another champion to beat cancer!

It is widely agreed that the Covid-19 pandemic impaired our ability to track the passage of time. Well, here’s proof: I haven’t posted to this blog since, um, ’19, after Tim’s kidney transplant. Lots of life has been lived since then, so it’s time to bring you up to date with a few highlights.

Tim continues to rock right along with his new kidney. And our friend Dana, the living donor, is doing great too.

Covid happened, and is still happening. We both made it until mid-2022 before testing positive. We’ve had our vaccines and multiple boosters so our symptoms were mild and recovery swift. We continue to be cautious and wear masks in situations that look and feel risky.

We both had major career changes in 2021. After almost ten years with Devon Energy, Tim said goodbye in July of 2021 and hasn’t looked back. His transition from working full-time for 38 years was smooth. He is enjoying reading for pleasure and has started writing some stories for his grandkids. I said goodbye to the classroom I loved for 9 1/2 years at OU and scaled way back on consulting. I’m still doing what I call “light” consulting with a few clients/missions that bring me joy and keep me sharp.

As we were anticipating these career changes in 2021, we sold our home and sold or donated about 80% of all our stuff. We walked through every room and did our best Marie Kondo. We found that the majority of things didn’t bring us joy, so onto new adventures. We went from two cars to one mid-size SUV, rented the smallest storage unit for the things we wanted to keep, and started on a journey to find our next home, wherever the wind took us. I like themes and titles so we decided to call this next phase in our lives “The Aspen Project,” knowing we would likely end up living in the U.S. Mountain West, where aspen trees grow.

After a few days of celebrating and saying “so long for now,” we made our way to Santa Fe. We’ve spent countless long weekends and vacations here through the years and thought this would be the perfect first stop for two weeks. Then we would spend time in the areas of Colorado Springs, Fort Collins and Breckenridge to see if anything stuck. You’ve probably heard that saying abou making plans so God can show you who is really in charge.

On our second morning here, our son called to share the news that our granddaughter, 2 1/2 years old at the time, had been diagnosed with kidney cancer and they were leaving for St. Jude in Memphis. With Covid, we couldn’t be with them as Mary Emma had surgery so we finished our time in Santa Fe and then headed to Missouri to meet them when they arrived back home.

UPDATE: Mary Emma is doing great. She turned four on October 13 and is making a return visit to St. Jude next week for a check-up. Also, Mary Emma has a sister! Vivian Grace Hartley was born during the time warp, December 2020. She is 2! What a blessing those precious girls are to our family!

Time-traveling back to 2021, we came to the decision that Santa Fe is where we wanted to be. Our Realtor ramped up our search, and it took us to an area we didn’t even know existed. On our first visit to the Rancho Viejo neighborhood at the southern edge of Santa Fe, we fell in love with the stunning vistas of four mountain ranges, miles of paved trails for walking and biking, and low-maintenance properties that make it easy to “lock and leave” as we travel. It’s all in the classic adobe Pueblo style, yet also in a planned neighborhood that isn’t typical of what we call “Scruffy Old Santa Fe.” We downsized in square footage but totally upsized in lifestyle.

We closed on our new home, a townhouse, on October 5, 2021, and then pulled up with a moving truck the night of October 14. It took a while to truly get settled and make it feel like home. We had two of our bathrooms remodeled in early 2022 along with some kitchen upgrades. We continue to tweak things but now can say it is our home. We’ve had lots of friends and family visit and look forward to hosting more.

2022 was definitely a year of travel, especially for Covid-delayed weddings. We happily celebrated five couples from Houston to Olympia, WA to Tulsa to Charlottesville, VA. Bonus: A destination wedding came here to Old Santa Fe!

We bought new skis, boots and season passes, and picked our spots to enjoy the best sun-and-snow days with the smallest mid-week crowds at Ski Santa Fe. We had ski trips to Utah and Colorado, too. Life is good!

As we begin 2023, our biggest news is that our daughter is expecting. Our grandson should make his arrival in early February and we are all excited.

That pretty much catches you up on all the exciting things to date. Our plan is to start posting on a regular basis and invite friends and family to follow our adventures.

“I want a filthy hamburger.” And today, following a great appointment with the surgeon, that’s exactly what he got! Here’s the photo to prove it.

It has been a little over five weeks since Tim’s surgery and today he was cleared to start driving, to increase his activity, to start enjoying some public outings and to start working from home next week. Everything is going well and Dana’s kidney seems quite happy in her new home.

Dana is doing fantastic. She’s back at work and resuming all her regular activities as if a major organ wasn’t even yanked out of her body on August 19. She did express concern that her former kidney is probably missing salads and fruit. I assured her I am getting as many plant-based foods in my husband as I possibly can.

Tim’s house rest has been a relaxing respite for him. A limited number of visitors have come by and lots of cards full of encouragement, love and support (and corny jokes – thanks Phyllis) poured into our mailbox. He has enjoyed watching episodes of old television series like Perry Mason and Mission Impossible, some movies that have been on his list, and has been mostly enjoying college football season and the Cardinals run toward the MLB playoffs.

Since surgery, the journey has been pretty smooth. There have been a few little hiccups including an emergency room visit, the incision hematoma and a follow-up ultrasound. The nurse this morning, appropriately named Hope, said he is doing really well and looks great. The most important thing is that he truly feels good and is energized. He is “very low risk” right now but flu season is when we will need to have heightened awareness of exposure to germs.

He will be making his debut at First Presbyterian Church this coming Sunday. Friends from his men’s Bible study group have so graciously and generously given their time to drive him to appointments when I wasn’t able to because of my teaching schedule. He’s excited to be back in worship.

Today was a big day for us! The journey continues and we are ready for the adventures ahead.  For me, that first adventure is a return to Cushing for my 40^th high school reunion this Saturday. Go Tigers!

What a great feeling to be back at home. We have felt so protected by God’s love and surrounded by an incredibly supportive community of family and friends. Let the healing begin!

There aren’t enough words to describe the performance of the entire Integris transplant team. Their round-the-clock care was nothing short of amazing. Transplant nurses Tammy, Nancy and Joanna along with the Samara doctors have given us more than medical care. They’ve given us their hearts.

Tim couldn’t have asked for better care than what Joanna and Tammy gave. Nancy had already left or else we would have grabbed her for the photo too.

So many of you have asked what you can do to help and what his follow-up care will be. Here’s what we know:

Tim will be on house rest for around six weeks. He will be seen in the transplant clinic a couple of times a week and then weekly during this period. His transplant team will be closely monitoring how his medications are working, any reactions to them, foods he might need to eat more of or cut back on, and everything else related to ensuring no infection or rejection of his new kidney. We know he is in the best possible hands.

Activity will be extremely limited for him. He can walk around our house or yard and go for short rides in the car. Other than that, he will be kicking back at home. You can help with this by recommending movies or shows to watch and books to read.

For the first couple of weeks, friends are discouraged from visiting because every visitor brings a risk of infection into our home and that has to be the one place where Tim is safe.  When he is clear to receive visits from friends, you can come by but only if you are healthy and not feeling ill, and you haven’t had any exposure to people who are sick. When you do visit, you will be expected to sanitize your hands and wear a mask. We have all these items ready and waiting, especially for Saturday game days where you’ll find us in front of the television. Go Cougs!

There are a few dietary changes and a heightened focus on food preparation safety. It really is all about eating a healthy diet. If you want to make and drop off a delicious homemade low-sodium soup, I’m sure Tim would enjoy it. I might too! There is a list of five fruits he can never eat, which works out well because he never ate them before. FYI – grapefruit, pomegranate, star fruit, papaya and blood orange because of the negative way they interact with his medications.

Speaking of medications, he will take three prescriptions for the life of his new kidney. One is an autoimmune drug, one is an anti-rejection drug and one is a low-dose steroid. He will go home with some additional medications to make sure he doesn’t get any infections and doesn’t reject his new kidney but will only take these for limited durations. Devon Energy’s medical insurance is really good and Tim will also be on Medicare for three years to help offset the costs of post-transplant medications.

The transplant team has used descriptions of “fantastic” and “exceptionally well” to describe how Tim is doing. Dana had a much rougher time after surgery but is feeling better and our prayer is that each day becomes easier for her recovery. We joked about feeling like we’re family now and related to each other. A friend described our families as second cousins, kidney removed.

The after photo included smiles, at least until the pain medicine wore off

The before photo of Tim and Dana two weeks before surgeries

We’ve prayed, cried, laughed and felt thankful. We’ve also loved each and every person who has joined us on this journey. This story begins and ends at First Presbyterian Church in Norman. We first met the Andersons 20 years ago and continue to meet them there each week. This is all the proof we need to know that God calls us to live in community.

Two weeks from today is surgery day!

Tim and our dear friend Dana Anderson, who is donating one of her kidneys to him, signed the official paperwork last week and made it through the pre-op steps. They are both ready for August 19. Dana, who has solid taste in music, quoted the great Tom Petty when she said “the waiting is the hardest part.”

This journey officially started in March of 2018 when Tim was placed on the kidney transplant list. He is definitely one of the lucky ones to match with a living donor (three actually) and not have to be placed on dialysis. A pre-emptive kidney transplant is considered the preferred treatment for end-stage kidney disease, but only about 20 percent of kidney transplants are performed pre-emptively in the U.S.

He is in good spirits but slowing down as his kidney function declines. We played golf with friends Saturday and after we rounded the first nine holes, he was pretty wiped out. I’m completely jealous of his ability to nap. And sleep.

Many of you have asked questions about the surgeries and aftercare so I’ll attempt to answer some of those here:

Dana will arrive at Integris by 5:30 a.m. and Tim by 8:30 a.m. She should be in recovery by noon and him by 2:30 p.m. They will probably both be in the hospital through Thursday after their surgeries on Monday. Tim won’t be able to have visitors in his room while at Integris other than immediate family. His nurse said friends will be able to wave at him through the window in his door. Please don’t send flowers or plants because he can’t have them in his room.

Depending on how everything goes, Tim will likely be off work for six to eight weeks. Fortunately he has the kind of job that when he feels up to it, he can start working remotely but he won’t be able to go back to the office until plenty of time has passed and his immune system is ready. He’ll be on a pretty restricted diet for a while as well. I see lots of yummy, homemade soups in his future. It’s one way to get him to eat vegetables.

He’ll be closely monitored to check how well the new kidney is working and to make sure his body is not rejecting it. He’ll have blood tests two to three times a week and have his medications adjusted as needed. He will take immunosuppressants or anti-rejection medications for the rest of his life to help keep his immune system from attacking and rejecting the new kidney, and to keep infections away as much as possible.

Tuesday morning, August 20, we’ll be going through what Nurse Ashley describes as Bootcamp. I just hope she doesn’t expect me to do any burpees! She will actually be educating us on all the rules for life after a kidney transplant. She already told me to go to Sam’s and buy a big bottle of hand sanitizer and paper masks so when friends come to visit, they’ll be protecting Tim from anything they might bring into our home.

After our meetings last week, it became completely clear to me. I was not meant to be the donor because the follow-up care would have put such burdens on our kids and others. It is not an easy surgery for Dana. It will be hard on her family. The good news is that I will be able to help provide care for her and Tim. We are truly thankful to be surrounded by a faith family at First Presbyterian Church that will make sure no one goes hungry for food, prayer, support or love.

Friends and family traveling this journey with us, thank you! So many continue to reach out and ask what we need. I promise I’ll let you know when something comes up. For now, we ask for your prayers for Dana and her family, and for Tim and our family. Tyler, Elyse, Mary Emma, Sarah and Nathan and will be here. Bonus for the four adults – they get to see Hamilton while they’re all here and the grandparents get to babysit the cutest little 10-month-old ever.

We are hosting a Perfect Match celebration the afternoon of Saturday, August 17 so we make sure Dana and Tim feel loved, supported and blanketed in prayer. The kids and I are having fun thinking of kidney themed treats! Share any great ideas you have too. And feel free to join us that afternoon – either in person or in prayer as we prepare for the next step in this journey.

If you know Tim Hartley, you know he is one of the proudest fans and alums of Washington State University. He is a Coug through and through! Come mid-August though, he might start cheering for the Texas Tech Red Raiders. Why, you ask? Because it looks like his new kidney is coming from one of their alums.

Yes!!! We are thrilled to let everyone know that we have an officially approved living kidney donor and a surgery date set for August 19. We are elated, relieved, humbled and filled with joy.

Who’s the donor, you ask? It’s our long-time friend Dana Anderson. We first met Dana about 20 years ago through First Presbyterian Church in Norman. Dana, her husband Chuck, and their little toddler Chase became friends of ours. And when they welcomed their son Mark a few years later, I remember taking dinner to their home and celebrating this new life with them.

We’ve shared our faith as members of the same church family and had lots of fun together through the years. We’ve traded vacation tips, driven Volvos, shared meals and stimulating conversation, and we’ve watched each other’s kids grow up. I guess it’s now time for a new adventure together.

Dana (left) and I are members of a women’s small group through our church. Matching isn’t new to Dana. At our April meeting, she and our friend Jean Leidner were dressed alike!

It’s really hard to put into words all the emotions we’re feeling. I know she has been through months of tests and screenings. I know how she has had to anxiously wait for the next call or email to see if she “passed.” I know how invested she has become in the chance to help another person she cares about. She is the kind of friend everyone would be blessed to have.

This story is different than what we first thought it would be. In some ways, it’s an even better story. I get to be the caretaker for my husband. (Maybe it’s time for payback for after I broke my leg skiing over six years ago.)I think I’m equally excited about helping coordinate meals, care and support for Dana.

The next two months will include much anticipation for both our families. We are so excited to share the good news with all of you and covet your prayers for Dana, Tim and both our families. Tim and I began this journey in March of 2018 with an orientation session at Integris. Since then, you’ve heard about our highs and lows. Thank you for your encouragement and support. And a special message of love to those of you who expressed interest in becoming a possible donor, called the transplant center, completed the medical packet and were placed on the list. Every text, call, email, post and hug keeps us hopeful and filled with faith.

One of my sweet friends gave me a book called Hope in the Dark and the chapter titled Wait talked about the Hebrew word for “appointed time” or mow’ed. It means the right time, the affixed time, the divinely chosen time that God permits something to happen. There’s an old saying that God is rarely early, never late, and always right on time. That’s summed up by mow’ed. Today seems like the right time to provide an update on Tim and how things are progressing with him.

First though – we celebrated one of the best days of our lives with Sarah’s wedding on April 13. Even a downpour and whipping sidewinds didn’t dampen the spirits of those who gathered with us in Tulsa to bless the marriage of Sarah and Nathan Pigott. We were completely surrounded by love as friends and family came from Germany, Sri Lanka, Alaska, Hawaii, 12 other states and of course, Oklahoma.

Our plans for after the wedding to prepare for an April 29 surgery date were not to be. The good news is that we’ve had a number of friends and family members step up to see if they are a match and can donate. Two dear friends of ours matched. Number Two was declined early in the process. Number Three has made it through most of the testing. If she is cleared by a cardiologist and passes the renal function study (the test where I was declined because of an imbalance in kidney function), we could be looking at surgery for mid-August.

More good news is that between mid-March and now, Tim’s kidney function has improved slightly and seems to be holding steady for now. He had a doctor’s appointment this morning. His nephrologist was upbeat and optimistic about his kidney function based on his most recent lab results. We won’t begin the discussion about dialysis because she, and we, believe a donor kidney will happen before that time is necessary.

My husband might have an extra pep in his step the next time you see him. This time of the year is especially a happy one for Tim. He is an Indy car racing fan. Big Time!!! In 1993, after stuffing the entry box at the Target store in Norman, he was selected as the winner of a trip to the race in Indianapolis. In 2016, our PrOUd Crowd friends – 16 of us – attended the 100th running of the race. And this year we will also be attending because my husband again won a trip to the race. Gainbridge, the title sponsor for the racing league, gave away 10 VIP trips for two and he won his second trip to the Indy 500. There is no more deserving fan than Timothy V. Hartley. He loves it! And I’ll tag along, finding a way to enjoy our VIP tickets for Kool and the Gang, Foreigner and Zac Brown Band concerts as well as the race. Go Pippa! (The only female driver in the race who drives the car sponsored by an organ donation nonprofit – Driven2SaveLives.org. You can register there to be an organ or tissue donor.)

Back to the book and the title of this blog post. The author said, “when it’s the mow’ed, there’s nothing you or anyone else can do to speed it up or slow it down. It’s going to happen, and happen on God’s timetable. Until then there’s nothing you can do but wait and be ready.” I also happen to believe we can pray and focus on living life to the fullest, which is exactly what we’re doing.

Our faith is being strengthened. We continue to ask for your prayers. Specifically, please pray Tim’s kidney function will stay strong and steady until the perfect kidney for him is matched and ready for transplant. We believe God is going to bring us through this and create the totally unexpected out of the ashes of our loss, grief and heartache.

“Endurance is not just the ability to bear a hard thing, but to turn it into glory.” – William Barclay, Scottish minister

We knew the Nuclear Medicine Renal Function Study on Monday would be the final test. We were told this test would help the medical team determine which kidney they would transplant to Tim. When my phone rang Tuesday morning I couldn’t wait to answer it and find out the news.

The feelings of amazement and elation on Dec. 13 are now disbelief and grief. After the study results were reviewed, I am being declined as a donor. I do have 100% kidney function but my slightly larger left kidney is doing 62% of the work and the right kidney is only doing 38%. The medical team was hoping for something much closer to 50/50. Although I would do fine with the higher functioning kidney, it’s not okay to transplant a 38% functioning kidney into my husband. He needs a stronger kidney.

I so wanted to be able to do this for him. I’m completely heartbroken at the news.

We have to hold to our faith and believe God has a different, and better, plan. For any of our friends with A or O blood type who might be interested in seeing if you are a match and a viable donor, please contact Bali Tucker at the Nazih Zuhdi Transplant Center at Integris. Her direct line is 405-951-8724 and her email is bali.tucker@integrisok.com.

We certainly appreciate your prayers for understanding, patience through this process and a better kidney for my best friend. I had to teach three classes yesterday and attend three meetings. I had to hold it together throughout the day. When I got home last night, we just held each other. We talked about how maybe we should have kept our story more private. I am Verna Busch’s daughter though and I really wanted so much to share our journey and story with others.

Our hope is we were able to shine a brighter light on the importance of organ donation. Our “Once Upon A Time in Elk City” fairytale isn’t ending the way we thought it would but we still believe in happily ever after.

I have faith. I also have doubt. And I seriously doubted I would be a match to give my husband a kidney as a living donor.  Sure, I went through the process of completing the paperwork, answering the questions during the phone interview and giving seven vials of blood for testing.

Imagine my surprise when the transplant coordinator called and said she had great news. I am a match. Tim and I were running Christmas errands and walking through a parking lot when she called. We were both stunned by the news. We had hoped and prayed for it but doubt was trumping faith. That call changed everything, especially the depth of our belief that God is in control and has been for a very long time.

Of the 10,000 kidney transplants last year, 75 percent were from recently deceased donors, 25 percent from family relatives, and less than 1percent from others. I’m in the less than 1 percent category. It feels like we’re living a miracle right now. Who knew when we married over 34 years ago that I would actually be the perfect match in this way?

For several days after receiving this miraculous news, my mind kept wandering to decisions I’ve made throughout my lifetime that brought me to my first job out of college in Elk City. You can read more about those decisions at the end of the blog and see a really cheesy photo from Valentine’s Day 2018.

First, though, here’s some more of the medical stuff:

I spent six+ hours at Integris on Jan. 3 going through lots of tests and interviews to make sure I’m a viable living donor candidate. I passed everything with flying colors except cholesterol.  That means less bacon in my future but more kale. (Picture a sarcasm emoji here.) The next test required by the medical team is a full cardiac screening including a treadmill test. That’s happening at the end of this month. Other tests and screenings after this will be to determine the anatomy of my kidneys and how the surgeon will be connecting one of them to Tim.

For me, this has become more exciting than scary. Many of my friends have connected me with people they know who have donated a kidney. I have two friends who have donated as well. The reassurance from living donors strengthens my faith. One of my friends and colleagues, Alisa Fryar, put it best when she said, “Team Hartley has a deep bench.“ God has this and we’ll be ready.

With Sarah’s wedding set for April 13, we are hoping for our surgeries to happen April 29.  I’ll keep you posted on my blog throughout this process. Your continued prayers and support are a great gift and will sustain us.

For those of you who want to read more about the decisions I made that brought me to the newsroom of the Elk City Daily News, here you go.

I grew up in Cushing and spent a great deal of time on the OSU campus for 4-H activities. My brothers attended college there. Most CHS graduates that go to college,  go to OSU. That’s certainly what I thought I would do until my brother Dennis got a job at OU and started working in student affairs and housing. As a young couple, he and Christy lived in Adams Tower student dorms before moving to their own home and having their first child.

My parents and I would visit Norman often to see them and that’s when I started thinking about going to college at OU. The scholarship offers were much better than OSU and the high school recruiters, Kenneth Conklin and Rick Hall, won me over. I decided to do something different from my brothers and become a Sooner. Of course, Dennis took a job with Eastern Montana College before I stepped foot on campus as a student. I stuck with my decision and moved into Adams Tower to go through sorority rush in August 1979.

Shocker – I’m not a girlie girl. I wasn’t sure if joining a sorority was the right path for me. There were older Cushing girls in my two top choices. I chose Alpha Phi because it was where I felt most comfortable and because one of my role models from my high school, Julie McDowell, was a member. Even on bid day, I still wasn’t sure if it was for me. As I got to know more of the women, the more I knew it was the right decision. One of my pledge sisters, Sharon Saied, and I became fast friends. We even lived together in the house our sophomore year. We remained active members and good friends during our time at OU.

When I was getting ready to graduate in May of 1983, I had three job offers. I decided to accept the offer from the Elk City Daily News, mainly because Sharon Saied and her family lived there. Her family had been so sweet to me during college and Sharon’s younger sister also became an Alpha Phi. They felt like family so I moved to the Big Elk the day after I graduated from OU.

If you fast-forward about six weeks, one of my colleagues at the newspaper who was pregnant announced she was not returning to work after having her baby. Tim Hartley, who was born in Moscow, Idaho and spent most of his early years in Washington state, had moved to Stillwater after graduating from Washington State University to “hang out” at his parents home until he found a job. His dad had accepted a position in 1981 at OSU to teach advertising in the journalism school. Tim started calling newspaper offices across the state to see if they had any openings. He spoke with the publisher, Larry Wade, in Elk City and drove out for the interview.

The office romance  you are always told to avoid ensued.

Sometimes I fall for those Facebook ads and couldn’t pass this pillow up.

We married November 24, 1984.

Lots of people keep asking how Tim is doing so it must be time for another blog post.

This picture says it all!

Mary Emma Hartley

Mary Emma Hartley is the greatest blessing to our family. Her birth on October 13 marks the beginning of many great adventures ahead.

Tim is doing well but is experiencing more fatigue. Naps on the weekends are definitely on his menu, as well as college football. He is in great spirits and walking through the steps as they come in this journey.

We are still in the process of finding a living donor. For any of our friends who are interested in learning more about this, you can call the Integris Nazih Zuhdi Transplant Institute at 405-949-3816 and ask for Belinda Bell, the Transplant Coordinator. You can also find more information online at integrisok.com/transplant. The first requirement is that your blood type be A. The RH factor, or + and -, doesn’t matter.

We don’t know how long any of this will take. It looks now like summer of 2019 might be our window, pending finding the right living donor and his or her schedule. I’m going through the process myself. Wouldn’t God have a great sense of humor if the girl from Cushing who married the Washington state guy turns out to be the best match?

You would think with this major health issue that our traveling might be curtailed. You would be wrong. With Sarah and Nathan’s move to Denver, our new sweet angel in Springfield, Missouri and ESPN College GameDay actually going to Pullman, Washington, we still have travels ahead.

Thanks to our dear Coug friend, Cameron “CJ” McCoy, we got tickets to the game and a place to stay. And not just any place, but we are staying in the home of Gail Gleason, mom of Steve Gleason. He is one of my nonprofit heroes for the work he and Team Gleason have done around research and support for ALS patients and their families.

Other than occasional tweets, my dear husband doesn’t “do” social media. I have granted him guest blog status before and I’m doing it again. If you’ve read this far in the post, you are in for even more of a treat. Yes, the morning of my 57^thbirthday on Sunday, October 21^st, I will be waking up in Pullman. Let the fun begin!

On College GameDay, We’re Gonna Win the Day for Crimson and Gray

With all the excitement about ESPN finally bringing its traveling College GameDay show to Pullman on Saturday, the memories are washing over me in waves. Not just about the seven times I’ve waved Ol’ Crimson on the show, but also as a kid born on the Palouse and later a student there.

Butch, the Cougars’ mascot, was once a live animal in a cage on campus. For a little boy from Moscow, there’s no memory stronger than a family ride in the car to Pullman, a stop for ice cream at Ferdinand’s, and a chance to look directly into the eyes of a real cougar. I knew where I was going to college when I was 6.

When I returned, Butch was gone. Times had changed. We had somebody in a costume. We may not have loved the new Butch like the original, but in a contest sponsored by a credit card company, Butch was eventually recognized as the best college mascot in the country. On Saturday when Lee Corso tosses Donald Duck aside in favor of Butch T. Cougar, I’m imagining a nation rising in unison: Go COUGS!

I spotted the Cougar flag on GameDay the first time it appeared in 2003. Cool, I thought. Who is that nut? Go Cougs. Then I spotted it again. And again. And then news came that the show was coming to the University of Oklahoma campus less than two miles from my house. I sent a message to something called CougFan.com, and a couple days later I received an email from a guy named Tom Pounds. It was too late in the week for him to ship the flag to me, so he drove it to my house. Eight hours on I-40 from Albuquerque. It was so much fun, waving that flag on that TV show. Sounds silly. We know it’s not.

I waved the flag with my brother in Stillwater a year or two later and with my son every chance we got, including once at the OU-Texas game in Dallas. By 2008 we were up to 74 straight shows and ESPN did a story about us on GameDay – with Tom Pounds in the role of Chairman Emeritus and CJ McCoy running the Ol’ Crimson distribution network like clockwork. The brain trust at Oklahoma had banned flags at College GameDay but ESPN overruled, and ours were the only two flags on the show that day, Nov. 22, 2008. Chris Fowler called out my name on the show, and later the Cougs beat Washington in the Apple Cup. That was a big day.

But what’s coming Saturday on the campus of Washington State University will be much, much bigger. When we met Mr. Fowler and Mr. Corso after the show that day in 2008, I remember saying, “You think a couple of Cougar flags are cool? Imagine hundreds. No, thousands of Cougar flags.” I saw the look in Mr. Fowler’s eyes, and I knew we would one day host College GameDay.

And then the years droned on. At one point, I even urged CJ to quit. He politely declined: “No way, man.” So here we are, 10 years later, up over 200 consecutive appearances now, every single one a road game. “Undefeated Fans,” it says on a #wavetheflag T-shirt. How quaint. Yet also true. And now, we finally get our home game, our chance to win the day for Crimson and Gray.

Our closely guarded secret, our majestic Palouse Country, will have a turn on center stage. Is she ready? Our university, our beloved Ol’ Wazzu, will be in the national spotlight. Can we handle it?

You know the answer, just as sure as you know we’re going to run out of beer.

See you there. Go COUGS!

-Tim Hartley ‘83